Oh honey, listen to Fly Guy. Physical violence is never excusable. Today it’s a shove because you were dancing with some guy. Tomorrow, it could be something worse. And you did that in his presence - just think of how he could flip if he lets his mind race about what you might do when he’s not around.

Good luck girl

oh hecks naw..pull out the celly and hit up pookie and them is what she needs to do.

@Bahama…you never cease to amaze me. But you’re absolutely right…lol

Let’s find out where dude lives and ride out

Ooh girl. Don’t make me have to pull out my knife. Mr. Biggs, I got shotgun in the ride!

You make the decision on whether you are going to leave him alone or stay. One thing is for certain if you don’t leave you will be posting another letter soon. I have yet to meet a person who has had 1 experience of domestic violence. Tell that fool to he is right about one thing he is SORRY, Sorry excuse for a man that is!

Oh you got got shotgun badgyrl? cool…lol

what a fucking coward. excuse my language folks, but some people only deserve the lowest, most vile forms of the english language.

Amen to that $Banks$ Couldn’t have said it better myself.

So you guys think that it’s never ok to hit a woman? You don’t think there are cases where a woman can just keep pushing a man until he reaches his breaking point? Why don’t we ever talk about women that get away with that? They WANT the man to fight back, and try every disrespectful tactic to make him snap.

@Tubbs

NO NO NO!!! It is never ok to hit a woman! Never. I can’t believe you’re even trying to justify that.

Are you serious? No, it is never ok. If a man deals with a woman that pushes him to that point, he needs to leave the scene, and never deal with that chicken again.

LOL Fly Guy LOL!!

Juwann:

Normally, I would suggest the possibility of this being an isolated incident. I would like to know how long you guys have been together and if there’s anything traumatic or heavy occurring in his life at the moment. And has anything similar happened before like his trying to control your whereabouts, phone calls, etc.

Unfortunately, he put his hands around your throat and threatened you. There is and NEVER will be an excuse for that. You need to remove yourself from the situation, and that must be your choice. Violence escalates quickly, and while you’re searching for excuses for his actions, his anger and irrationality just grows stronger. You can forgive him if you wish, but just remind that your life and self-respect is more important.

well said Reina. Looks like somebody is a love expert in training ;-) Should I be worried about my job? lol

@Tubbs, it sounds like you have hit a woman before. Would that be a correct assumption?

I’m not going to lie. I did get into a physical altercation with my ex before. But I didn’t hit her back until I was already scratched up, with a bloodied nose, trying to calm her down instead of hitting her. She called me every four letter word, spit on me, broke my shit, keyed my car. And I was supposed to just sit there and take it. See that’s bullshit if you ask me. Then to top it off, she called the police after I hit her ONCE, and guess who got locked up? You guessed it. Me.

@Tubbs: then maybe you should have called the cops first, before you put your hands on her.

@songbird, I did call the cops first. But she kept coming at me. I pushed her off of me, and she hit the wall, so it was more like I was defending myself. Then she cried murder of course when they got there. Typical.

Tubbs,

Ouch. I’m sorry to hear you had such an awful experience. At least she’s an EX now. Hopefully the next girl doesn’t have violent tendencies…

@tubbs; TRUE WORD….. here in Jamaica if a man call the police first he just may walk away with a beating. Bunch of one sided folks. You are in a relationship and exclusivity applies and you go dance with someone else (not justifying) but how would YOU feel. Put yourself in the position Mr. Fly guy then see if you wouldnt feel “a little” betrayed. BTW Violence:” Never Acceptable!

@Stenneth,

Relationships are all about compromise. If I know that my girl loves to dance, but every time that we go out, I never dance with her, then that’s a problem. Either I learn how to suck it up, and dance with her sometimes, so she doesn’t have to sit and be bored; or I trust her to dance with someone else, and know that it’s just dancing. It can’t solely be about my wishes though, and this guy’s actions were completely selfish.

Juwann, I signed up for this website just so I could comment on your situation. I experienced an almost identical situation with an ex of mine. After a few months of him begging for forgiveness and telling me how sorry he was, I decided to forgive him. And about two months after that, I disagreed with him in an argument and he choked me again. Ultimately, the decision to stay or go is entirely up to you. There’s no way to know for sure if it will happen again. But keep in mind that your boyfriend behaved irrationally and irrational behavior by its very nature is unpredictable. So if you were to stay, you may end up always wondering when/if it’s going to happen again. Also, food for thought…has he shown any other signs of control or any issues with expressing anger? Please be careful….and remember that having peace of mind is priceless.

Thanks for commenting quietone. I hope that Juwann takes what you, and everyone else has said to heart. I’m also glad that your ex really is an ex.

@quietone. im glad u got out alive girl!!!

@ quietone:

Very glad to know you removed yourself from that situation.

I think almost every woman has been in some situation like that. Lord knows I have, and its much easier for people or even for you to say I’m leaving than actually do it. Sometimes things are complicated and you feel like you have no one else to turn to. But things don’t get better from here they just get worst trust me (I done had an ex pull a gun and threaten to stab me several times). And girl even if you have to go call your mama (cause Lord knows I had to) to get away from that fool, DO IT.

All bullshit aside, no guy should ever put his hands on you that way. Period. You probably should leave him, but I’m curious as to how you were dancing that it made him so mad. Just cause ya boyfriend’s the villain don’t mena you aint had no part in his wrong doing.

She could have been bumping and grinding in a corner somewhere, yeah be mad but choking, come on.

are you serious!? why are you even asking for advice, i mean you know that no man should ever put his hands on a woman, so this means you too sweety… please leave! i don’t care what he says, buys you, pleads, begs etc. unless you want to end up fighting back because you can’t take it anymore in the back of the limo (like Tina and Ike) then leave now! i thought that that movie showed ALL women that love and an a$$ whipping at the same time does not equal ain’t LOVE! please take everyones advice, i hope you have already left…

“Have you had your dose of ‘Joi’ today?”
http://ubringmejoi.com

o yeah now regardless you should not be dancing with another man and your man there, unless you know that your man is not going to trip (which this must of been a first and i’m hoping it’s the last)….

by the way