Things You Shouldn’t Say

There’s a common misconception that currently exists. It goes a little something like this. “Now that I’m in love, I can say whatever I want.” In theory that may be true, but you haven’t used theory since your junior year in college. (And now that I think about, you didn’t even really go to class.)

Instead, use a more practical approach when it comes to conversation topics within the structures of your relationship. Because whether you know it or not, there are certain things that you can not say. By dodging these 5 conversational land mines, you can avoid situations stickier than Jermaine Jackson’s shower cap.

5. You flirt with other people.

You may be one of those people who feel it’s okay to flirt with others. After all, flirting is perfectly harmless right? You may only flirt with people the way Christina Milian does with success…you get close, but never really do anything worth writing home about. That may very well be the case. But you should still keep that to yourself.

4. You have a shameful past.

Let’s see, there was the time you were engaged, but you bolted on your wedding day to embark upon a torrid 2-month love affair with Ernest Thomas aka Raj from “What’s Happening.” Or there was the time when you worked as Stevie Wonder’s personal stylist and dressed him for the “We are the World” video (I’m still mad at you for what he had on.) Whatever shameful secrets you have from the past, at some point down the road, it’s ok to share them. They just don’t need to be on your list of conversation starters.

3. You compare them to an ex.

Out of all of the things you could possibly do to kick up dust in your relationship, why would you let them know that you’re comparing them to your ex? That’s one of the ultimate acts of relationship treason. That’s happened to me before, and I can’t begin to explain the levels of rejection I felt. I can now empathize with Gary Coleman each time he tries to get on a roller coaster…it’s almost like no matter what you do, you’ll never measure up.

2. Your family hates them.

Your family’s opinion is important to you. You know it. Your significant other knows it. Even your family knows it. What’s also important is that you don’t share the fact that your family actually hates who you’re with. They still want you to marry Sheila’s son Clarence or Tonya, the Vacation Bible School teacher. And when you bring your current love around, the conversation gets about as stale as the butterscotch candy your grandmother still tries to give you after church. So don’t make an already awkward situation worse by spilling those beans.

1. You are attracted to one of their friends.

Some may argue that many of the previously stated acts are much worse than this one. I vehemently disagree, as this one has the potential to permanently damage your relationship. Now that you’ve shared your inner most thoughts about their best friend, the trust level will immediately plummet. And now every time the two of you go out with a group of friends, you’ll be looked at suspiciously, similar to the way the other vowels look at the letter Y. (Is he with me…or is he thinking about being with them) Don’t worry..you’ll get that one on the way to work tomorrow.

The Fly Guy Moral: I have to be honest with you. This topic resonates with me on many levels. In the past I’ve been on both sides of the argument. There may have been things that I said, thinking my honesty was what was needed at the time. Sadly, people can’t always handle everything that you want to share. Should you lie? Absolutely not. But like my dear old friend the movie theater once said…Silence is Golden.