Fly Letters
Should We Try Again?
Dear Fly Guy
My husband and I got married when I was 25 and he was 27. After the wedding, we moved to an area where he could get a job, which was fine since I’m a teacher and had much more flexibility.
During the first year of marriage, he started having an affair, which resulted in him moving in with his girlfriend, who was also married at the time. We separated, and I’ve since moved back home and attempted to move on with my life. After seven months of not seeing or hearing from him, he called me and had the nerve to say that he realized his mistakes and wants me back. What upsets me is that he is still living with his girlfriend!
So I’m wondering. Should I ever give him the chance to re-establish the relationship that was so strong between us for so long? My friends doubt whether I could ever trust him again, but I want to know what you think? Please help me out.
Erica
Dear Erica
Your situation reminds me of the time I fell out with Halle Berry. We went through some major issues when she released Catwoman. I felt betrayed, and vowed to never speak to her again. Why? Because if you really love someone, you don’t do certain things…like make a movie that bad. It took years for me to forgive her, and to this day I still shudder when I drive past Blockbuster.
You can learn from my example…
The key element is always time. I know it felt good to hear him say the right things, but until he provides the actions over time to back it up, those words are as pointless as offering Kevin Federline a job application. The first step would be to see him move out and cut off contact with the girlfriend. If and only if that happens, then you can THINK about letting him back in your life….as a friend first. If he can earn your trust back as a friend, and you’re truly over the pain of the past, then knock yourself out. But if you’re still holding on to it, like I am with Catwoman, then the relationship will never work. Take care.
The Fly Guy
Login
Categories
Most Emailed
- Friends With Benefits: The Cold, Hard Facts - 24 emails
- Why I’m Single - 15 emails
- Volume 43- The Dating Commandments - 13 emails
- Volume 45- Men That Women Hate - 13 emails
- Volume 42- Should I End My Relationship? - 10 emails
| About | Fly Guy TV | Fly Guy Store | Contact | Archives | Links | Disclaimer
Jamezz
I am with Fly Guy on this one. The guy is doing the same thing he did with you. This guy seems selfish. He wants his cake, your cake and everybody elses.
I am not a fan of divorce, I love a good reconciliation, but under the right terms and conditions.
Marriage was created by God for a man and a woman, adults. He seems childish, a kid that wants this toy now till he gets ADD and moves on to the next flashy toy. Adults are commited and think about more than just themselves. You need a real man to submit yourself too, who will treat you right.
I say…U do U in Christ’s care and pray on it and let Christ lead your decission. Do not put everybody in your business either. Hopefully your boy grows up in to the man you deserve.
Iceykohnn
Simply put, I think he is trying to get back to a comfortable situation. The grass that was greener turned out to be Astroturf, and instead of cutting loose and finding a whole new yard, he wants his old yard back. Be careful, you may represent a stable, comfortable environment emotionally, and possibly financially as well. I wouldn’t say that if he had his own place. If he cheated and left in the first place, he made that decision for his own reasons outside of you. How sure are you that those reasons don’t still abide with him, or won’t come back. I think you are worth more than that.