Why I’m Single

Apr 17th, 2007 | Author: | Category: Fly Perspectives
Comments (21)

When I run into beautiful, successful people who just happen to be single, it always fascinates me (hey, I study love for a living.) So I often find myself wondering, “Why in the world are they single?” As I delve deeper into the psychology behind it all, the answers I get range from, “Well I’m way too focused right now,” all the way to “I can’t trust anyone with my money.”

Some have been ridiculous, others downright hilarious, but none of the reasons have ever been articulated quite like Nina Brown’s. If you reside in the Atlanta area, you’re well aware that Nina is the show producer for the Frank Ski and Wanda Morning Show on the popular FM radio station V-103. By being in such a high profile position, Nina undoubtedly comes across people from all walks of life who want to know exactly why she’s single. She finally had to set the record straight….so much so, that I had to share it with you my Fly Readers. Enjoy.

Why I’m Single

by Nina Brown

——————————-

I am single because I have a 6 year old son who soaks up everything like a sponge and I haven’t met too many men who would leave an impression on him I would be proud of.

I am single because I have a fabulous job that consumes so much of my time.

I am single because I am a “single black female addicted to retail” and when the going gets tough, I spend my money on very expensive jeans or a fabulous new designer hand bag. I spend my own money on my fetishes because I never want to feel like I owe a man anything because he bought me something .

I am single because after 3 months of dating, you cut me off with no explanation… only for me to realize, you’ve been engaged to be married the entire time. It’s unfortunate a radio show had to bring the truth out. Wow, thanks for copying on me the non-existent memo.

I am single because I can be very stubborn. I refuse to lower my standards because of the shortage of available, straight men.

I am single because I have an obsession with swagger and I refuse to date a man who lacks it.

I am single because my vision is grand, and my man has to understand that, and be working on his own incredible vision simultaneously.

I am single because I am quick witted and extremely driven. I will not date a “slow lane” dude. I’d like my man to drive faster than I do, so that I can be challenged by a new speed and inspired to “keep up”.

I am single because I will never allow a man to make me feel like I’m not the shit. Even when my skin isn’t perfect, my waist isn’t the smallest and my booty isn’t the biggest… I’m still the shit.

I am single because I have an incredible Daddy who raised me, I understand what a stand up dude is. I expect my man to take care of his children, woman and household just as my Daddy did. There is no excuse.

I am single because I work in a male dominated industry and most men can’t handle the fact I’m around other powerful, popular and well-connected men 24/7.

I am single because I have more backbone than a lot of men and I don’t always want to be the “driver”. I’d like to ride shotgun every once in a while, as my man takes over. He’ll never have to worry about my ability to drive, when he’s tired, I’ll gladly take over.

I am single because I can carry my own weight. Most men have ego’s that need to be stroked, so they seek needy women to make them feel like “men”, looking down upon “independent women”. Fortunately, I’m not looking for a “daddy”, I’ve got one. I’m looking for an “equal” who can help me take over the world.

I am single because my male mentors expose me to things most men can’t, like fine dining and traveling to new places some only experience thru the Discovery Channel. I would never expect a man to attempt to keep up with another, but its a state of mind, I need my man to want to expose me to new shit. Teach me something I don’t already know, show me something I haven’t already seen. If you can’t physically or financially do that, be able to do it mentally, it does count.

I am single because I have a zero tolerance for ignorance.

I am single because the one guy who captured my heart, happens to be a lil busy taking over the world, managing a multi-platinum artist and running a successful record label, timing is everything… and it wasn’t our time. I fell in love with his work ethic, so I could never stand in the way of his grind. I watch from afar in amazement at his growth. Proud of everything he has accomplished and who he has become. I fall back easily, knowing you win some and you lose some… And if you’re lucky, you remain friends for a lifetime, which means… you never really lost.

I am single because I expect my man to lead, and quite honestly, the majority of men these days have no idea where they’re going… And I’m supposed to follow you???

I am single because I will not sweat or stalk you, regardless of how fine you might be… I’ve got pride and a life.

I am single because I choose to keep a good reputation, I will not sleep with you because you drive a flashy car, rock $500 Evisu jeans or have an icy watch and chain to match. Often times, that’s all you’ve got… these 4 things.

I am single because I’m attracted to the hip hop culture and sometimes shy away from everything else. I should keep my options open, but I’m addicted to swagger, its not my fault.

I am single because sometimes I’d rather sleep then be on the social scene. I wake up at 3:30 am, 5 days a week… You have to be the SHIT to make me sacrifice my R & R.

I am single because I’d sometimes rather hang out with my fabulous girlfriends then play the “get to know you” game with some new dude. My girlfriends mean guaranteed laughter and good times, can you guarantee that?

I am single because I don’t want to inherit your baby mama drama… My sons father is one of the most unselfish men I’ve ever met. I thank God I don’t have baby daddy drama, why welcome yours?

I am single because some men are intimidated by my profession.

I am single because I refuse to play the sideline chick. I’m a good girl, if that doesn’t make you want to make me number one, I keep it moving.

I am single because I don’t want to meet your kids on the second date, just because you date, doesn’t mean your children do too… I need a man who understands that.

I am single because I think male groupies are the lowest form of man. I see the groupie in a lot of men before they see it in themselves. Its disgusting.

I am single because I realize some men want to be affiliated with my connections and reap the benefits of my profession. If I were the same chick and working at QT, you wouldn’t be that pressed.

I am single because the most important men in my life told me, I deserve the best, and now, that’s what I want.

I am single because I will not tolerate being lied too. What an insult to my intelligence.

I am single because I have a phobia for the down low. I need a man who digs women… Only!

I am single because I walk away at the first sight of a “red flag”. I have an incurable syndrome called “quick-to-cut-a-nigga-off”. Surprisingly, men suffer from psycho behavior too… Funny, I thought that was just a “girl thing”???

I am single because I choose to be. When the right man comes along who truly deserves my love, I will not doubt, second guess or conditionally love him. He will have me, and ALL of me. I will hold no punches and always be honest, yet compromising, realizing anything worth having requires hard work. I won’t expect a relationship shortcut, I’ll welcome the long route and enjoy the scenery along the way.

Just my thoughts,

Nina Brown

To learn more about Nina click here.

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  • Jamezz

    Spoken like a woman who knows what she wants. Men should be men on their own, but if more woman stood there ground, we would see more strong men today.

  • http://YahooMail Tammy

    I applaud Nina. She kept it real. She didn’t go too far left or too far right. She was honest with it. When it came to some of her reasons for being single she stepped up to the plate and took ownership for the reason. She didn’t try and put it all on the man.

    Kudos Nina!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • yes

    amen!!

  • http://necolebitchie.com Necole Bitchie

    I felt her all the way down this list..

  • Danie` Michelle

    I really REALLY enjoyed this post…Hell I enjoy this site thanks to Necole Bitchie!

  • http://en.gravatar.com/avatar/f440215aabbdc8dc2ff5337fac6a99b9?s=80&r=any Riley

    i loved this post.

  • http://www.mahoganydymond.net mahoganydymond

    I loved this. I feel her pain in some sense.. I am single, cause the man was scared of commitment…

  • sunshine

    I wanna cut and past this whole post and put it on my myspace page!! :) she nailed it on the head, most of it specifically for herself regarding her life, business etc. but the core values of her being, reflect so much on a lot of reasons I am single and I loved reading it from another woman’s mouth! :) Major point and case….she is single because she chooses to be!! LOVE IT NINA BROWN…NEVER MET YOU BUT I LOVE YOUR HONESTY!! major kudos.

  • Norse

    So, all that just to say she’s single because she can’t find a man? Lol.

  • songbird

    @Norse: Um, more like she’s more concerned with creating a life for herself and her kid than she is about finding a man. Not everyone ‘needs’ a man in their life, and kudos to girlfriend for saying it.

  • http://www.myspace.com/clarkekentgphig Male Man

    Good for you Ms Nina.I also “appreciate” the lack of respect for men such as your father who are looking for the real(non-existant)women like your momma and my momma without success!
    Now without further delay: The Top Ten reasons I(and other Men) are single:

    1.Women are hypocrites who want it both ways..oh they are “independent”,yet they are always first in line on Ladies night to get in free and always want a dude to buy them a drinks(assinine!)

    2.They ALWAYS seem to know what a MAN is suppose to be/do yet they can’t answer what a real woman is suppose to be to a man(assinine!)

    3. The belief that they are better than men(God made us both equal)

    4. Most are Lazy,filthy,and bring no practical domestic skills to the table(before you ask I can do anything domestically BETTER than any of you broads)

    5.They think their regular ol’womanhood is Superior enough to just part the skies and men are suppose to be happy for the substandard effort sexually!That as well as their pitiful hang-ups in the bedroom!(i.e.”The I’ll just lay their and you finish your job expeirence! WTF!?!)

    6.With all the Feminist-gained laws that favor Women,Men basically don’t have any rights or a leg to stand on legally in the Judicial system and in society at large!

    7.The institution of Marriage itself that allows women to think they can just gain like 50 pounds and a man should be happy with what he gets!

    8.The fact that they THINK they have bigger B*LLs then men but let them get a flat tire or have a mouse to kill!

    9.Having Kids is overrated,but if a dude must have one then they can get a Nubile young Dominican or another Latina to have them!

    10: It is cheaper to have a 20- something y.o. jump-off( that looks good and is sexy) 2 or 3 times a month(or more if he prefers),then he can get up and leave!Go to the club,home to watch the game or play xbox without the stress-pollution of theses Pixilated chicks with their anger,frowns,and other copious amounts of B.S.that would come with dealing with these with these chicks!

    Let also speak on those Bi-sexual or Lesbian cows: If you think another woman won’t dog you,trust me,Men get dogged by women all the time. Also know all you single mothers

    Fellas go visit the website: NoMarriage.com!

  • songbird

    Wow, Male Man… can you say, “bitter?”

    Maybe you need to take a look at the type of women you’re allowing in your life.

  • Jai Mone’t

    Wow. I give Ms. Nina a round of applause. I’m not mad at her at all. I’m liking the fact that she knows what she wants and refuses to give in on any of that. Glad to know I’m not the only one who feels that way:-).

  • Heard It All B4

    Ms. Nina I am single for so many of the reason on the list. Some of those really hit home, especially the one about the stand up father! Its harder for a man to fill the shoes of a real man who has been in your life since day 1… if its not worth working for its not worth having!

  • http://accordingtoaretha.blogspot.com Aretha

    Wow…I loved the post. I can definitely understand the red flags thing. I think I’m a red flag hunter, I’m not trying to be surprised by BS.

    Overall, this was a Great summation of why so many women are single.

  • passionate

    I love this post also. And someone mention earlier on if these women stop allowing these men to do what ever when ever we would have more mature, respectable, and decent men. If we stop acting like we just have to have a man for the sake of love we would do fine relationship wise.
    I find myself in some of those statements she made. I beleive a lot of women go through and deal with bullscrap because they did not have a father figure in there life. I did not and it took me a moment to get me together as a black woman in this society. I deserve to have a man respect me and who i am and i accept no less.
    Or I have the kick-your-a-to-curb-attitude also.

  • blackfujones

    At least she admitted at times she sucks at this male/female thing. Can’t say the same for these pseudo “superwomen”

  • http://www.pamelaewilliams.com Pamweezie

    Wow!! I just happened upon your site after reading your post on NecoleBitchie. Big ups NB. Wow is all I can say. Ms. Brown had me wanting to holler AMEN while I was reading. Oh so many things I agree with in her post. I have do as one reader said and tailor make this for myself and repost this on one of my pages. She has definitely set the tone.

  • http://bombchell.blogspot.com/ Bombchell.Blogspot

    she kept it honest.

    (sigh) i’m always confused when people ask me why am I single.

    its easier to lie, especially when you’re not sure of the truth.

    lol maybe i should change my name to Single – in Atlanta lol

  • http://www.myspace.com/rmillinejr darkcapricorn82

    That’s a lot of reasons to be single right there. I really believe the real reason shes’ single is she’s a single mother and most men without kids don’t want another man’s kids, thus leaving her with men that have kids. Biggest reason I think is she’s in love with a man that’s not in love with her, therefore any new guy that comes along will have to be bigger and better than that guy and also interested in her. Some guy that causes her to stop looking from afar and admiring the platinum producer and begins to admire him.

  • Monet

    I started out being single because I wanted to be a role model for my daughter. When my LTR ended, I opted to date “away” from my home, and my daughter never met anyone I dated. What started out as putting serious relationships on hold for 7 years quickly turned into 11 years. Now I am 41 and she will be 21 on Monday. Part of me feels like I sacrificed a lot having not taken advantage of a few good men along the way, but when I see the woman my daughter has become it also feels worthwhile. Luckily, I still have quite a youthful appearance and I hope it works in my favor if I decide to get serious in the near future.