Fly Letters

The Instigator

Dear Fly Guy,

Alayshia

Dear Alayshia,

Your situation reminds me of the time I caught Rosie O’Donnell squeezing into a pair of size 6 jeans…you both just seem to need a bit more room to breathe. Now according to your letter, things appeared to be just fine before you moved in together. This suggests a bit of relationship claustrophobia on your part.

It’s only natural for couples to miss their freedom when they first move in together. But you can’t just go around picking fights as a way to rebel from your new living arrangement. Trust me, I used to purposely agitate Mike Tyson when we were roommates…to this day he still doesn’t speak to me. (Backstory: I used to bet him $50 that he couldn’t count to 30 just to get a rise out of him. Without fail, he would get mad and gut punch me for laughing when he would mess up. But it wasn’t my fault…I wasn’t the one who taught him that after nineteen comes twenty, which is then followed by twenty-ten and twenty-eleven.)

And I know you may think it’s funny that he couldn’t count to 30, but there are some truths to be extracted from his plight. By continuing to needlessly irritate your boyfriend, like me with Tyson, you’re slowly pushing him to the point of not wanting to deal with you anymore. So apologize to him today, and explain what you’ve been going through. Then develop a plan to build some “me” time into the relationship, so you won’t feel as confined. Hope this helps.

The Fly Guy