The Chronicles

Volume 8- Breaking up Is Hard To Do

Please pray for me. In two weeks, I’ve been asked to speak to a group of young people on the art of the break up. The Fly Guy’s Official Break Up Course is something that everyone should attend at some point. I mean let’s face it, it’s better to part ways the right way, instead of allowing it to get messier than Aretha Franklin in spaghetti straps… I won’t unveil my entire presentation today, but what I will do is give you my 2 for 2 special. That’s 2 ways to properly break up with someone, and 2 ways to handle it when someone tries to break up with you.

The Break Up-ER
Breaking up is already tough enough without the proper preparation. Here are two rules you must always abide by.

No Home Court Advantage: Do yourself a favor. Don’t try to break up with someone at your house…or their house for that matter. You have way too much valuable stuff that can potentially break with the proper force. Besides, breaking up in front of a picture of you two hugged up and smiling makes matters even worse. Go somewhere public…but not too crowded…like the park or the premiere of a Harrison Ford action movie. There shouldn’t be too many people there.

No Backing Down: If you really feel compelled to end the relationship, then you can’t give in and change your mind. Flip flop relationships are more stressful than Rosie O’Donnell in skinny jeans. So before you even start the conversation, think about all of the possible rebuttals to your reasons for ending it, and make sure you have sound responses. Once you make that move, you’ve officially reached the point of no return.

The Break Up-EE
No one wants to be on the wrong end of a break up. But if you’re ever faced with that predicament, at least you’ll be prepared with these two helpful hints.

Just Let It Go: If your significant other decides they want out, then by all means let them go. Don’t fight it…agree with them. On the inside, you may be hotter than fresh grits on Al Green’s face, but there’s no need to let them see the pain. In fact, your strength and quiet resolve may do more damage to their psyche than any combination of four letter curse words ever could.

Find Someone New: After you let them go, I want you to morph into the Dennis Rodman of the dating world. Rebound. And in a hurry. There’s no need to consume your thoughts with someone that doesn’t want to be with you anymore. Find someone or something to occupy your time…I bet your ex isn’t even reading this column right now. Why? Because they’re too busy getting cozy with a new love interest. You can play that game too.